My friend Krischa makes hand stamped jewelry (and other beautiful things). When she began experimenting with hand stamping, I asked her if she could make me something like this necklace charm. Bob Marley’s ‘Three Little Birds’ has been an underlying theme of my overall attitude for a very long time. When you grow up the way I grew up, #FirstWorldProblems are no big deal.
Lately though, I haven’t been thinking every little thing is gonna be alright. I mean, I don’t worry about petty things that worry many others. But I’m having trouble believing that my biggest struggles are ever going to improve. I find myself worrying that I’ll be stuck in certain negative patterns/positions forever. I struggle to see the bright side. That’s not like me.
I don’t know how long this necklace sat in my mailbox. Probably a week. Krischa likes to surprise people with love mail. I don’t check mine unless I’m expecting a package, and I just so happened to be expecting a couple today.
Naturally, I loved it the moment I saw it. My kids first initial is on each little circle. My three little birds. But it wasn’t until later that the magnitude of the words smacked me in the chest.
I flopped on the sofa, stressed and worrying about “what ifs”. My husband isn’t the most romantic guy, but he sat down beside me, cuddled up and started singing Three Little Birds. I don’t remember him ever doing this. I’m always the one to sing that song. Always. My husband is the worrier in our household. I’m the one that balances the scale with a heavy dose of ,”Meh… It Could Be Worse.”
I needed to be reminded of who I really am. Although some of the things I worry about are pretty serious, I still need to believe in my heart of hearts that every little thing will be alright.
P.S. I have my first appointment with a therapist next week. I’m equal parts scared, excited and really not looking forward to it. Overcoming is freaking hard. It’s much easier to put on blinders and pretend everything is peaches and sunshine. Meanwhile beneath the surface wounds are festering. I suppose I’ve chosen my hard…